Order Autographed (or Un-autographed) Copies of my Books Here!

Notes before ordering:

• If selecting "in person", make sure I actually know you, and am willing to meet you in person. Let's be honest: this is for friends and family. Showing up on my doorstep with book in hand may get you a restraining order along with your autograph.

• If you want it signed, specify your name exactly as you want it to appear, or the entire inscription.

• I reserve the right to change the requested inscription, so be reasonable. For example, profanity and good jokes are usually welcome, but there is a limit.

• There are no returns. If you don't like the book, donate it to someone who might, or to your favorite charity.

• I am the shipping and handling department, so please be patient. I will try to get books mailed within a week of ordering, but sometimes life interferes (stupid life!).

• Everyone who orders must promise to force their friends, family, coworkers and Starbucks barista to buy multiple copies. (This one is optional).